In an earlier post I made reference to a wonderful book that I had read years ago titled: “Loyalty to your Soul” by Hulnick and Hulnick. In one of their chapters they explore Emotional Suffering:
“Emotional suffering is a direct result of seeing life through ego-centred eyes that justify an ‘I’m upset because…’”
Wow. Let’s just re-read that statement again:
“Emotional suffering is a direct result of seeing life through ego-centred eyes
an ‘I’m upset because…’“
That’s powerful isn’t it?
I have to admit, in my past, I thrived on the drama, I loved ‘being upset because….’, telling the tale of my woes, feeling angry a lot of the time – being justified in feeling angry, looking for someone or something to blame. Naturally I was miserable and upset a lot of the time. I would constantly be in ‘victim mode’. There was always something happening in my life. Sometimes what was happening was fun, but more often than not, it was exhausting and painful. I was oblivious to the fact that I actually gave my power away so many times, in numerous situations and to countless people.
Thankfully now though, I have changed (just a bit). I engage much less in that type of behaviour. I still have to remain mindful and be a witness to my ego. If I give it enough time, thought or power/energy; it can still try and steal the show.
Emotional Suffering and Ego-centred Eyes
We do suffer emotionally when we observe things through ego-centred eyes – especially when we judge others. We’ll often use ego-language, like the word ‘should’. “You should have done that….” or “He should have said this…”.
Our ego will try to set up a power gradient, using the word ‘should’ by placing itself above others in an ‘I am better than you’, or ‘I know more than you’ attitude. The word ‘should’ debilitates, it attempts to manipulate others by creating guilt, limits our choice to BE who we are and prevents us from exercising our own free will.
Emotional suffering also happens when we have expectations. Expectations are a way for us to try to ‘control’ an outcome in our heads. While living in New Zealand many years ago, I learned a powerful phrase:
“Expectation is the Mother of all Disappointment”.
How true that is. When we have expectations, our ego is more than likely going to be disappointed. Whatever it is, will never measure up to what our ego expects. When we have no expectation, we are in our hearts and open to what is.
Allowing Things to Be
I wonder, what would it be like, if we allowed things to be as they are, rather than how we would like or want them to be? I’m not suggesting we give up on life completely nor abdicate responsibility, we need to remain in command of our lives but instead respond to a situation as and when it arises.
Then we allow things to be, we are in our hearts not our heads, we are connected to the Universe, to our Higher Selves and to our Soul. In this place we accept all things that come to us. We see everything as a lesson, something to learn from. An opportunity to help us to grow and evolve.
Ready for Change?
If you’ve had enough of emotional suffering, seeing life through ego-centred eyes, are sick the drama and no longer wish to be controlled by your ego then feel free to contact me, Michelle A. Hardwick for a personal consultation – either in person at the Natural Clinic in Cork city or online via Skype or Zoom.
Alternatively consider being part of our life-changing weekends in Ireland called The ‘Seven Wonders of the Soul’. A group setting offers a special opportunity for a shared journey. This environment promotes greater insights, profound realizations as well as experiencing powerful group energy. Our next weekend will be held at the Liss Ard Lake Lodge, West Cork, Ireland on 10th & 11th December 2016 – for more details and to book your place click here
Or contact Michelle on Phone – 0871 492338 (in Ireland) or Ph: 0785 7369619 (in the UK).