stress

Moving House

Leave a Comment Lifestyle Tips

Moving House with Michelle A. HardwickMoving House

We’re currently in the process of moving house. It’s the reason why there have been no posts from me – until now.

Moving house represents a massive period of change for everyone – adults, children, pets and even plants. The UK’s Daily Telegraph shared an article about Moving House written by Eimear O’Hagan  stating that “in a recent poll, two thirds of people voted moving house top of their stress list, with it triggering more anxiety than relationship breakdowns, divorce and starting a new job.”

I agree. We’re not only having to cope with numerous factors that are out of our control e.g. probate timing, solicitors’ and land agents timing; but we have to juggle work commitments and make sure our basic needs are met – such as eating and sleeping. In addition, there is a whole process of going through our treasures or “stuff” ( and realizing just how much we’ve collected/hoarded in a short space of time!). Finally we have to then decide what to let go of – and what to keep. The final stages are packing/unpacking and finding new places for everything! Here’s a handy checklist to help you too. The whole experience can be massively unsettling for anyone. No matter how many times you’ve done it or how mindful you are.

Stay Grounded While Moving House

Having everything everywhere creates a feeling of being displaced and ungrounded. My partner and I have moved a few times already, so I decided to go about this move differently.
Firstly as soon as I heard the news that our offer had been accepted, I got busy in the kitchen making loads of meals and putting them in the freezer ready for us to take out defrost and reheat. In the past I’d turned to fast food to get us through – which was neither satisfying nor nutritious. This time, I bought partially ready-made superfoods like quinoa, lentils, gluten free pasta, frozen vegetables too that could be made into or added to meals quickly. I made sure I drank plenty of fresh, pure, filtered water. As much as I could, I took a short walk out in nature each morning.

Moving House and Keeping Balance

Keeping  balance while moving house can be tricky. Be mindful that this such a massive process of change. Coupled with the above, I scheduled myself into my own diary to have a treatment of reflexology. (If I’m not balanced – then the consequences are disastrous for everyone!) Reflexology helps me relax and come back to my centre. Even then with everything that was going on, it wasn’t always easy and there were still times when I felt overwhelmed. When that happened I would tap (using EFT).

When I felt myself tense up I would do some deep breathing. (The best way to do this is to have big sighs as you breathe out. Lift your shoulders up as you breathe in and drop them as your breath out). If worst came to worst, I’d take myself off and go to bed early.

Mindfully Moving House

Moving House with Michelle A. HardwickMindfully moving house is important. Making sure our bodies are nurtured is just one part. Do all you can to remain mindful and aware that this process is a journey. Trust that all will work out perfectly, as it is meant to.

And of course, it does.

I am still incredibly grateful and in awe of how quickly and magically everything came together. What usually takes months – even a year in some cases, took us 2 months from signing to moving.

We also found what we needed for the house, when we needed it. We are still unpacking and our ‘nest’ is still unfolding. I am humbled at how supported we’ve been.

More blogs coming soon!

Insomnia

Leave a Comment Lifestyle Tips

Insomnia

I have been meaning to write for a while about sleep and insomnia. So when I saw that the Guardian Newspaper recently ran a story about the former ‘Sex and the City’ star Kim Cattrall and her battle with insomnia, it spurned me into taking action. According to the Surrey Sleep Research Centre  “Sleep disorders are prevalent, with approximately 10 to 20 per cent of the European and US population reporting frequent sleep disruption.” That’s a lot of people awake at night. So what’s happening?

Insomnia and feeling Safe

We sleep best when we feel safe and content. Worrying e.g. about our difficulties at work, our relationships, things we have to get done tomorrow – won’t help us fall asleep. Worrying actually accelerates our brain sending our mind into overdrive, our body tenses up, we hold our breath and stress hormones are excreted. Instead of sleeping we prepare to ‘fight or flight’ and we therefore suffer from what is known as insomnia.

Frustration fuels Insomnia

Insomnia
Insomnia

The fight continues when we lie in bed for hours getting stressed and more annoyed with ourselves. We add salt to our wounds by watching the clock – calculating (still more brain stimulation) – how many hours we have left until we have to get up. When we wake the next day, we feel exhausted, irritated and annoyed. Instead of bouncing out of bed refreshed, we feel frustrated and tired. Then we use coffee, chocolate or sugary drinks to keep ourselves awake. We begin negatively programming our mind with statements like: “I won’t be able to sleep tonight”, “I’ll be awake all night just like last night” etc. etc. As night falls we start to worry more and again our levels of stress increase. This quickly becomes a pattern.

Insomnia and Stress

Our sleep is directly affected by stress. It is impossible to solve stress with stress. Feeling insecure creates stress, feeling secure naturally counteracts stress. What is also important is to be relaxed during the day, to change our beliefs and habits about sleep.

Switch Off & Relax

Try this simple exercise. It’s a great way to turn off the activity in your nervous system and relax for a brief moment:

Switching Off For a Moment – Turn your phone off for 5 minutes. Sit with your back upright and put both your feet on the floor. Take a deep breath (a deep one right down into your belly). Let your shoulders drop. Breathe deeply again. Focus on your jaw, part your jaw, relax your tongue and mouth. Continue to breathe deeply from your belly/abdomen for about 3 to 5 breaths and close your eyes. Just be still for a few more moments. Then open your eyes, have a sip of water…and notice how you feel. [Remember to turn your phone back on too].

Hypnotherapy and Insomnia

Changing Insomnia with Michelle A. Hardwick
Sleep like a baby

I have to admit I love my job. My passion is helping clients relax and let go of stress. During a consultation for insomnia we spend time discussing a variety of potent strategies to help clients prepare for sleep. Then together we create positive suggestions that are integrated into a tailor-made hypnotherapy MP3 recording to re-programme the mind away from insomnia towards sleeping deeply through the night. Changing a habit takes more than one day, so continued listening of this recording is essential. As with all new skills, be persistent – some people notice immediate relief, others after a week or more.

It is possible to change your mind, your sleep behaviour and patterns. If you struggle with insomnia are unable to get to sleep, or wake up regularly during the night, or are disturbed by someone snoring while you sleep, help is at hand.  Contact me to take your first step towards being able to sleep like a baby again!

Kind Feedback
My thanks to Jody (not her real name) for her kind feedback:
“I have had a huge shift in that I AM OFF MY SLEEP MEDS AFTER 1 and half yrs. I can’t describe the feeling of utter joy and empowerment I have since the last 2 days. It means so much to be finally in control of my life. That was the last piece of the puzzle I needed to fit in the ‘my empowerment series’. I can’t thank you enough.”

Change Insomnia Michelle A. Hardwick helps you Sleep Deeply
Michelle A. Hardwick

Contact

To free yourself from insomnia contact me Michelle A. Hardwick for a consultation either in person in the UK: Phone – 07857369619 or in Ireland: Phone – 0871492338.

Alternatively contact me, Michelle here to book your private consultation via Skype/Zoom.

 

Healing Codependency

2 Comments Deeper Truths

Codependency – What is it?

Codependency

Codependency is a term used for people who have a tendency to be involved in dysfunctional relationships. They set up negative patterns where the needs and behaviours of their loved ones are more important than their own. As you might expect, codependent patterns increase levels of stress, frustration, irritation, anger and anxiety.

Codependency – Difficulty in Early Childhood

According to Weinhold & Weinhold “codependency is a failure to complete one or more of the important developmental tasks of early childhood. Individuals who do not complete a variety of stages and processes become developmentally delayed at a personal level. This prevents them from creating not only healthy couple, family relationships but also healthy organisations, cultures and nation-states.

Sympthoms of Codependency

Common symptoms of codependency are:

  • Feeling trapped in abusive, controlling relationships
  • Having low self-esteem
  • CodependencyNeeding approval /support from others in order to feel good about yourself
  • Feeling powerless to change destructive relationships
  • Needing some other outside stimulation to distract from your feelings e.g. alcohol, food, work, sex etc.
  • Feeling like a martyr, helpless, using guilt to manipulate
  • Being a people pleaser
  • Having poor or weak boundaries
  • Inability to experience true intimacy and love
  • Lack of trust, perfectionism, operating in the extremes
  • Caretaking, obsession
  • Depression, compulsive lying, compulsive talking
  • Controlling others through manipulation, threatening, coerciveness and/or constant advice giving…”

People who are codependent often also fear abandonment and rejection. But what they don’t realise is that they actually abandon and reject themselves.

Healing Codependency

It IS possible to heal codependency. We first need to heal our relationship with ourselves. When I began healing my own codependent tendencies, I found that a lot of my difficulties stemmed from childhood. I began healing there.

Now whenever my clients want to become free from codependent patterns, I use a similar process. We typically release challenges from their past – either through Regression or the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), we also change emotions and behaviours by using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). If my clients are really committed to change their lives, at the end of our time together I usually suggest they go on to heal their primitive reflexes, as I did. All of this is deep, inner work, however using this combination of tools will help make lasting change and is a very empowering process.

Being in-dependent is all about strengthening and healing you. It is not about changing anyone else.

Freedom of Codependency

Breaking free from CodependencyWhen clients are free from codependent behaviours they begin to take responsibility for their actions, feelings, behaviours and life. They meet their own needs. They are able to say no and set appropriate boundaries. They have self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-belief and self-love. They feel IN – dependence instead of CO-dependence.

One client recently wrote to me saying:
“I had a feeling this way of change was for me. I need to let you know that since our session yesterday something in me has shifted. I don’t know what – but I feel alive! I have this most beautiful feeling of peace and for that I thank you most sincerely”.

Michelle A. Hardwick
Michelle A. Hardwick

Contact

To free yourself from your codependent tendencies contact Michelle A. Hardwick for a consultation either in person in the UK: Phone – 07857369619 or in Ireland: Phone – 0871492338. Alternatively contact Michelle here to book your consultation via Skype.

Resources

Breaking Free of the Codependent Trap Weinhold & Weinhold