The Natural Clinic

Our Ego

Understanding our ego with Michelle A. HardwickUnderstanding Our Ego

In many spiritual traditions our ego is seen as the false self. It’s the mask we wear in certain situations with particular people (or groups of people); or the role we ‘play’ in our lives. It is an illusion, a mirage. Often we get caught in this false, made-up ‘self-image.’ However as we peel back the layers of who we are not, we no longer need to play ‘roles’ in our lives. Instead we begin to become our real, authentic selves – who we truly are.

Lower Mind

Our ego is connected to our lower rather than our higher mind. It is our head not our heart. Esoteric Science states:

“It keeps us on autopilot; it keeps us half asleep and most of its programs (our beliefs, strategies, thought patterns, emotional reactions and automated behaviours) were initially programmed when we were very young, so many of our reactions to life are immature and inappropriate. Some of our programs were updated and re-written as we became older and more experienced, but the deeper ones were created by and created from a very young, naive, immature and inexperienced consciousness. These old patterns are responsible for most of the unnecessary suffering in our lives, but our fear of venturing into the depths of our being allows our immature core (inner child) to endure and our unnecessary suffering to continue.”

I agree.
Let’s explore some of these statements:

Understanding our ego with Michelle A. HardwickAutopilot

It “keeps us on autopilot; half asleep” – most of our self-sabotaging behaviour (known in EFT as a Psychological Reversal) stems from our ego. It does not want to move out of it’s comfort zone – even though it can be painful to remain there. Our ego resists, hates change and will fight to keep the status quo. If there is any way our ego can halt our Soul from making changes, evolving or progressing, it will. Our ego will continue to do things as it has always done, it gets what it wants by doing it that way. The ego does not want to take responsibility for itself nor have us take command of our lives, it’s too scary to change.

Reactions to Life

“Many of our immature and inappropriate ‘reactions’ in life” are from our ego. A lot of our reactions are similar to those of a small child. I’m sure you’ve witnessed this, where the ego becomes furious, shouts, cries, lies, attempts to cover up and/or defend itself. Yet the difference between adults and small children is that children are simply be-ing in the moment. As soon as the moment has passed, their attention is diverted, the reaction is forgotten and their focus is on something else. Yet adults can stew over an event, become bitter, resentful, feel justified in their behaviour, doggedly resistant to giving any apology for a reaction.

Updating Programmes

“Some of our programs were updated and re-written as we became older” – absolutely.  Programmes that no longer serve us become extinct as we add new truths or understandings. Think for a moment of the concept of the Easter Bunny or Father Christmas. We believed them as children, and now we don’t. Any outdated belief can be changed if we are ready to change and take responsibility.

Deeper Beliefs

The “deeper ones”/beliefs are often connected with emotions or feelings that are reinforced over time. Our ego collects ‘proof’ about them. It fabricates why we need them or why we can’t (or won’t) change them. We need to excavate a little deeper within the subconscious to discover the roots of these beliefs and their secondary gains either with EFT and Hypnotherapy. Often there can be nervousness around “venturing into the depths of our being” and becoming aware of our ego – for fear of what we might uncover. But nothing bad will surface only our judgement of ourselves. Our ego is not who we truly are, it’s not our truth…we are so much more than our ego. So much bigger, more amazing and more powerful than our ego would allow or have us believe. What we discover is our real self. It’s a very empowering process.

Suffering

Those with a healthy egos endure a lot of “unnecessary suffering”. Their thinking is usually that they are ‘right’ and the other person is ‘wrong’. The ego needs to be in control and so it tries to get power from the other person in order to feel powerful. At the core of our ego is insecurity, anxiety and fear. But when we are balanced, centered and calm we respond to situations and are in command of our thoughts, feelings and emotions. We don’t suffer as much. Life becomes easier.

Becoming Aware

We can identify our ego by following the trail of reactions in our lives. Understanding our ego with Michelle A. Hardwick

Remember a time when you exploded over something that another person felt was seemingly small and insignificant. Reflect on that event. Check to see whether your reaction was a bit too “over the top” for what occurred.  Instead of blaming the other person and/or the drama, think why your ego reacted. What was the belief that caused the explosion? Ask yourself honestly does that belief still serve you? Is it outdated? Here are a few ways our ego shows itself:

  • it takes things personally,
  • feels attacked wants revenge,
  • won’t/can’t forgive,
  • can’t sleep and becomes unwell,
  • remains a victim, renders itself powerless,
  • overthinks, becomes self-obsessed,
  • judges the other person/people and their behaviour.

Einstein wrote:

“The more the Knowledge
Lesser the Ego

Lesser the Knowledge
More the Ego”

Michelle A. HardwickContact Me

Are you ready to break free from the limitations of your ego? If you are, then contact me by email or by phone:
Ireland – 0871492338 or in the UK – 07857369619. Alternatively contact me by email.
If you’d like to explore more – I offer Skype and Zoom consultations, all from the comfort of your own home.

Consultations are also available in Cork City at the Natural Clinic.
Book a consultation at the Natural clinic, here or call Reception on (00353) 21 4311977

Begin your journey of self-discovery and reconnect to your powerful, real, true, authentic Self now!

Gratitude

Gratitude

Gratitude - 7th wonder of the soul weekendI am full of gratitude. Recently I facilitated the final and 7th of our ‘Seven Wonders of the Soul Weekend‘ at the Liss Ard Estate, West Cork, Ireland. Each of these weekends take place roughly every 3-4 months, and form part of a evolutionary programme that extends over a 2-year period.

My gratitude is to everyone in this group because they have been through a lot. There were a number of ups and downs for each of them over the two years since we began in 2014. I am delighted and thrilled that many decided to stay with the programme and see it all the way through.

Group Process

The weekends give our soul a platform on which to express itself. We get to peel back/drop layers of ‘who were are not’ to uncover who we truly are. Sometimes we discover things we love about ourselves. Sometimes things we don’t like. This can be hard for our ego to accept.

Gratitude to All

A group setting like this offers a special opportunity for a shared journey and promotes greater insights, profound realizations and an experience of powerful group energy. So naturally over the two years there were participants who came and went. Some attended one of these weekends, others stayed for a few. Their attendance related to their availability; commitments; where they were at personally; or how far they chose to go on their own journey of evolution. Every single person who participated in the group learned something about themselves and also shared something valuable of themselves with the group; their sharing allowed us all to grow. I feel such gratitude to each of them too.

Continuing the Journey

Now that this group has completed the seven weekends, what does this mean? Are they Perfect? Well…Not quite. They have much more self-awareness and understanding. Now they choose whether to listen to their ego or their soul. They can choose whether they want to feel hurt or upset. Now, instead of carrying emotional baggage around with them, they can make a decision, choose to drop the emotional suffering, work through it, take the gift, feel the gratitude and let the rest go.

I doubt I will ever be perfect, (that’s not why I am on this planet) nor am I finished with my growth. Until I have learned all I need to learn, shared all I need to share, taught all I need to teach, given all I must give and taken all that I need to take, my journey will not be complete. It is on-going. Sometimes it’s not nice, but it’s all part of the plan. However, when we stop our growth this is a decision which is based from our ego not our soul. Our soul will continue to put us in challenging/difficult situations so that we can grow/learn. If we keep the status quo and stop learning – that’s when we get stuck either in our ego, or we become unwell and we suffer emotionally.

Gratitude for Your Kind Feedback

The group members have given me permission to share their feedback. I am very grateful them for doing this. Here’s what some of them shared:

“I learned that pain is a positive resource in the search for my self. I learned that I have come such a long way in two years. I am getting closer to enjoying the process of letting go and that fear has been my driver for years”

“It is easier to have the support of a group to help you with a deeper level of understanding”

Gratitude seven-wonders-of-soul“Go to these weekends as its an investment in your life’s journey and will help you understand things at a faster and deeper level”

“Fantastic weekend. Great to connect with Source. Loved our group meditation. The weekend is transformative, unlike a therapy session you leave with a sense of what to do next and how to process. Unlike a massage or a spa treatment the transformation is lasting. It is a balm to soothe your wounded heart and soul”

“A life-changing journey which one has to walk to understand. I would say ‘look at my life now’. This is a gift to your Self, your Soul and Family”

“Wonderful journey of our souls: unfolding, discovering, healing, empowering, truly profound we are amazingly guided by an extraordinary, lively soul”

“I get to experience myself within the understanding of the topics we being worked on. With respect, confidentiality and trust, a number of people share during 2 days a part of their life. The weekend provides a space to feel yourself, choose to heal, meet beautiful human beings, taste food, share you with other people and be with nature”

What an amazing journey we have been on – my thanks and love to each of you.

Interested?

Michelle A. HardwickIf you are ready to take part in an inner journey of evolution in these life-changing weekends called The ‘Seven Wonders of the Soul’ contact me, Michelle A. Hardwick. 

Our next weekend will be held at the Liss Ard Lake Lodge, West Cork, Ireland on 10th & 11th December 2016 – for more details and to book your place, click here

Michelle also offers personal consultations – either in the UK, or Ireland at the Natural Clinic in Cork city or online via Skype or Zoom.

Contact Michelle on Phone – 0871 492338 (in Ireland) or Ph: 0785 7369619 (in the UK).

Addiction

Addiction

Addiction with Michelle A. HardwickAddiction seems to be a recurring theme in my office lately. August and so far the start of September, have been all about addictions. Those who came to see me were looking for help to overcome an addiction of some sort.

When a spate of people arrive in my office like this, it gives me chance to reflect again on what else I still carry about that particular topic (despite already having done enormous amounts of excavation work around it).
On reflection I was surprised to discover how much time I am on Facebook, my ‘non-stop-over-scheduling-work-ethic’, the need to be right/perfect/not make mistakes. Certainly food for thought – and a bit more work left to do for me.

Addiction Article

So as I considered this spate of people – a wonderful colleague and friend based in Malaysia Monika Wyss – shared an article about Addiction, prompting me to write this post.

Escape from Pain

What is clear from the article is that one of the aspects contributing to addiction is the need to escape from our pain – whether that be inside our minds, our past, from life, living, other people or ourselves. That pain we are attempting to escape from is usually unprocessed and in our past. (NB: There are numerous reasons for addiction, however in my post today, I’ll just be focusing in general, on this topic of pain).

Self-Discovery

Many years ago, I read a book written by Robin Norwood titled “Women who Love too Much”. Reading this was a turning point for me. Norwood highlighted that I really did have a problem. (Ok… I’m being modest here – not just one problem – there were loads of them). Addiction with Michelle A. HardwickHer book woke me up from my ‘Denial Slumber’. I realized a lot about my struggles and the painful past I carried. My usual patterns of running, traveling to another country, beginning another relationship doomed for failure, would no longer work. I could no longer ignore, deny or numb my pain. I knew I had to do something, to take responsibility, confront, process and more importantly CHANGE.

As I continued my journey, I began studying Neurolinguistic Programming and then the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). Two very potent therapies for me. They began to change my life for the better, helping me address and release a lot of ‘my painful stuff’. Since that time, I have spent what feels like an entire life time growing, addressing, processing and releasing my past. I have learnt a lot. Now I help others do the same – albeit in a shorter space of time!

Reclaiming our Power

Together, we look at what caused the pain. Often, there’s fear and a belief that the past will be painful to revisit, yet it doesn’t have to be that way. For me, going back to the past is a way to reconnect to our power. It gives us a chance to reclaim and heal a wounded part of ourselves, a part left in the past. It’s the part of us that when triggered, (and we all have been at some stage or other) – reacts, shouts, screams, roars and even becomes abusive. It’s the younger part of ourselves that’s been alone, fighting an inner battle since the pain first occurred.

Part of my work also entails letting go of judgments we make about ourselves (as well as other people) so we can free ourselves from shame, blame, pain and/or guilt. We get to revisit and process what happened through the eyes of the adult we now are, rather than the child we once were. We get to forgive ourselves, to set ourselves free from the prison we’ve been keeping ourselves in, and reconnect to our truth – not who we thought we were, nor who we have been told to be – but to the truth of who we really are.

A powerful journey indeed.

Changing an Addiction

Addiction Michelle A. HardwickI am humbled, when I consider the amount of courage it takes for someone to come to my office. Only when people really have had enough of their addiction, are they ready for change. It takes courage to acknowledge there is a problem, and take responsibility for it. It’s scary to contact someone to work with. Then take that next big step to book an appointment. Finally and probably the biggest achievement of all, is to turn up and make a start.

Addiction Insight

Once in my office we discuss the addiction, explore addiction triggers, release and clear away numerous issues/fears/pains/traumas that contribute to the addiction. Often we need to uncover (or rather dis-cover) more about the past using our subconscious, the deeper mind, through regression.  We travel back in time to the origin of the problem and explore the Emotional Drivers that drive the addiction.

This is a wonderfully insightful process that brings forward powerful, lost, and incredibly vital wisdom to help support change.

Freedom

Armed with new understanding about our past, the pain can be fully released and our perception changes. The final step is to re-programme the mind and strengthen the Self with positive suggestions around connection, self-esteem, confidence, safety, security. The time it takes for this process depends a lot on what occurred and what we discover. The joy and honour for me is being allowed to be a part of such a profound journey of self-discovery and be a witness as the client frees themselves from their past and reclaims their own freedom.

Help is Available

Addiction and Michelle A. Hardwick
Michelle A. Hardwick

I offer a free 15-20 minute phone/online chat if you’d like to connect with me in person before taking the step or booking an appointment.

I also facilitate weekend experiences. Two of the numerous topics covered in the next Weekend are addiction and self-esteem. Held in the beautiful grounds of the Liss Ard Estate in the Lake Lodge in West Cork, Ireland the weekend takes place on 24th & 25th SeptemberRead more here or book your place here. A limited number of places remain.

Contact Me

To begin your journey of self-discovery contact me by phone:
Ireland – 0871492338 or in the UK – 07857369619. Alternatively contact me by email.

Consultations are also available in Cork City at the Natural Clinic. Book a consultation at the Natural clinic, here or call Reception on (00353) 21 4311977