Shocking News

In March, after completing another weekend in the Wonder of the Soul series I received some shocking news. I woke on the Tuesday morning to messages from my brother explaining that my Father had had a massive stroke in the night. I cancelled my clients, booked the first available flight from Ireland (Thank God for Aer Lingus) and hurried over to Wales. It transpired that his speech had been severely affected by the stroke. The muscles in his face had dropped and he was unable to talk or swallow properly. His body and mind were ok. He was lucky – he was alive. It could have been a lot worse.

Intuition

On some level I had a sense, even though I had no idea what, that something huge was on its’ way. On the last day of the Weekend Wonder of the Soul, I shared my feelings with the group in our final feedback. I felt slightly unsure about saying it, but needed to speak my truth. I expressed how wonderful the weekend had been, how well we’d dealt with the topics of personal power, drive, motivation and determination. Together the group had uncovered and discovered more about themselves, those topics and how everything was related. As the weekend concluded, I told the group I sensed something powerful was about to happen. I felt it was to do with my Father and how the dynamics of our relationship would change.

Waves of EmotionQuan Yin Qwan Yin Kwanyin

In the days that followed my Father’s stroke, it took all of my strength to stay grounded, present and in the moment. Waves of emotion would crash over me. I knew I had to process them. I tapped using EFT, breathed deeply and cried heaps. Sometimes I felt I was drowning. Other times I felt able to cope, my head was just ‘above the surface’. Occasionally there’d be ‘glimpses of sunshine’ too – synchronicities would occur and things people said often felt like messages from the Universe/the Divine.

What was interesting was that on Monday, the day before I received the news of my Father’s stroke, I’d been meditating at home. I saw an image of the beautiful Goddess of Compassion and Mercy, Qwan Yin. In my inner vision and minds’ eye she came to me, held and surrounded me with the most exquisite feeling of divine love and told me everything would be ok. So as I bobbed about like a cork on the ocean of emotion, her image and those feelings kept coming back to me, comforting me.

The first week was a blur. My Mother and I got into a routine. Waking late, we’d have breakfast and talk. We’d get the things ready that my Dad needed. We’d answer phone calls from family, relatives & friends and head over to the hospital for visiting time. We’d be with my Father, my siblings and try our best to communicate with him. Mum & I would return home, grab a bite to eat and head back for evening visiting time. We’d leave again, make our way home, sit for a while at night (watching TV and eating chocolates!) flopping into bed, exhausted. Next day, we’d get up and repeat.….and so it went on for a week. Slowly my Father regained some strength. The staff at the Hospital were amazing.

Goodbye and Goodnight

Daily my Father practiced his facial and speech exercises. He was absolutely demonstrating motivation, drive and determination (things we’d talked about in our Wonder of the Soul weekend). Yet in my mind, I kept going back to how he used to be. There were times, when I struggled to accept that this was how he was now. The hardest thing was the end of evening visiting hours. We’d have to leave my Father in hospital. Sometimes once we’d left the building, my Mother and I would hold each other, breakdown together and cry.  Message of Love

On the fourth evening, as was becoming the norm, he accompanied us to the main doors. My Father hugged & kissed me and then turned to my Mother. He looked her into the eyes, held her firmly by the shoulders and as distinctly and as clearly as he could, he said:
“I……..love……..you”.

They hugged each other tightly. I burst into tears. Such a beautiful, heartfelt message of love.
He’d been practicing for days to say those 3 words to my Mum.
I felt so humbled to witness the deep love my parents had for one another.
Even after 60 years of marriage, there was such a strong connection between them.

Good News

The good news is since then, my Father has returned home, is recovering well, sleeping loads and back on solid food again. His speech hasn’t returned fully but he’s improving slowly and getting speech therapy weekly. He works every day on his exercises. He’s been cleared to drive and has even made a few short trips to local towns in the area. My parents rest, they watch a lot of afternoon TV and hold hands. We are all incredibly grateful…. Many thanks to everyone who helped us during this very difficult time. You are very much appreciated and loved.

  1. philomena Maguire

    Michelle, that was beautiful, I am in tears reading it. It touched my heart. What a blessing to have that amazing love and for you to share that wonderful moment. Wishing your dad a full recovery and may they enjoy many many moments of devine love! Keep writing xx phil

    1. Thank you so much Philomena for taking time to write and share your experience of reading this blog with me. I am very grateful to you and happy to hear that it touched your heart. Many blessings of love to you. Thanks also for your kind wishes regarding my Dad, it’s a slow journey but one he’s at least making!
      Michelle

    1. Many thanks Madalena for taking the time to comment on this post – delighted you enjoyed it! xx

  2. Dearest Michelle
    Thank you for sharing this… I too have tears streaming down my face. Your parents love for one another is do beautiful and what a close loving family you seem.
    Thinking of you and my love, thoughts and prayers I send to you. What a reminder too of how precious our life and health is.

    1. Thank you so much Sam for your kind feedback your love, thoughts and prayers – they are much appreciated. I agree – nothing can be taken for granted any longer. So lovely to hear from you.

  3. Harry Aasterud

    The willingness of seeing and reading the signs the univers is sending us makes the real difference in troubled times. I was touched Michelle by your story and wish you and your parents all the strength you need to get through this ordeal. My thoughts are with you.

    1. I agree Harry – this experience has profoundly affected all of our lives. Many thanks for your kind comments and for sending us your thoughts and strength. You are much appreciated.

  4. Catherine McIntyre

    Dear Michelle, reading this made me cry…your Dad will get better, he will, it is amazing the progress thta are made after such stroke. I went through basically the same horror in september with my mom and 6 months later she is much better, although as she was diagnosed with a disease close to Alzheimer some aspects will not get better, rather worse, but she can speak , think, walk etc…very well .
    If you don’t mind I would like to share something that occured the day it happened….I woke up that morning feeling rather bizarre, like a cloud in my mind, heavy stuff, I could not shake it off…we still drove to the beach as planned all the way in the car as Alastair was driving I started having “thoughts”… weird ones, and also some sharp needle kind of pain on the side of my skull, i did not tell Alastair thinking well , it is going to go away…the strange thoughts kept coming back …I could see myself with my grand daughter, whom was not born , yet, …aged about 3/4 years old , holding her hands and talking to her about how her great grand mother , my mom, had been…I kept thinking of my sister who has not got a good relationship with our mom and how she would feel the day something happened to her…this went on and on, even when we got to the beach as I was swimming, I had all these thoughts about my mom and how I would feel the day she would be gone….then, as I was lying in the sun, i received a sms on my phone that I had a vocal message…i listened to it and my eldest brother was explaining to me my mom Had had a stroke , she was at the hospital, alive, ok…well, alive …as we would see later on she was like your Dad, but aware for most of it. She told me she had been thinking of me so much and could not wait for me to be there with her…
    The bond between people is unbelievable, there is something we cannot comprehend. It has shaken me so very deeply, but I am grateful because I feel like life Is soothing the path by preparing me . We are given time to heal some wounds . The grieving process has started in some ways…
    I enjoy reading your posts on FB and how wonderful you are doing on your path .
    Much love to you and loved ones
    Catherine

    1. Dear Catherine
      Thank you so much for your message and beautiful explanation of what has occurred for your Mother, you and your family. What a gift to be so connected and tuned in to feel what you did as things were happening to your Mum!
      I know my Dad has the determination to get better and this motivation is what makes the difference I feel. I wish you, your family and especially your Mother much love and light on this next part of the journey. Thank you too for your find comments re: my posts on FB. Delighted you enjoy them too!
      Much love back to you and yours too – Michelle xx

  5. You write beautifully Michelle. The love and emotion is bursting through each and every sentence. You are a very special person, look after yourself and thank you xxxxxxxxx

    1. Mary, that’s so kind of you to say. Many thanks for your comments. I love your blogs very much too!
      Big hugs to you
      Michelle

  6. Michelle that brought me to tears. I’m so happy that your beautiful loving parents get to be together holding hands and sharing their precious time together.
    I’m so happy for you that your dad is home and able to lead a happy life.
    Loads of love
    Sandy

    1. Thank you Sandy, I am so grateful that you shared your experiences of my blog for my parents. They also went to Chester a while back and told me they enjoyed sitting beside the river holding hands too!

    2. That’s so kind, I am touched that the post about my parents journey had such an effect… I was speaking to my parents yesterday and they said they’d gone on a day trip to Chester, they’d sat by the river holding hands too – how cute is that?

  7. Beautifully heartfelt sharing you have Michelle. Courageous parents you have, their will to live and love has been felt through your words. Namaste my dearest friend

    1. Victor, thank you so much for your message. So happy you can feel their love. It’s been so powerful for me to witness and to share. I’m thrilled you get the sense of that too!

  8. Dear Michelle, thank you for sharing this with us. You deeply touched me – as so often in the past. I am so glad that your Dad is recovering. My mother lost her 6 months battle with pancreatic cancer last Summer and being an “orphan” now I know how valuable your time together is. Cherish every minute of it.

    Sending you love and all the strength that you need.

    1. My dear Beate
      Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. Happy to hear it moved you too. Yes we are happy he’s recovering too!
      I appreciate your sharing about your Mother and how precious the time is that we have left now. I will certainly take your advice!
      Thank you for your love and strength. Thinking of you too. Love Michelle xx

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